Gardy and the Bear

What up world,

I have been known to play video games here and there over the years. I usually get sucked into sports games. Especially those that track your electronic player's progression and statistics like Madden or NCAA Football. The time waster of choice right now is MLB 2K7. There is a feature in the game where you can bring the manager out to argue calls. If you press the A button fast enough, you can increase the moral of the team, causing them to play better for one inning. The longer that you argue, the higher the chance is that you will be ejected.

Thursday night, Keiunta had just been hit by the pitch while attempting to bunt. The third base umpire called it a strike, rather than allowing him to move to first. Gardenhire saw this and was pressing the A button like a hummingbird on crack as he approached the field. He argued with the ump for a few minutes resulting in a couple bruised egos, a dirtied hat, and team morale going through the roof. Before leaving the field (and giving the sign to the fans to start throwing things), Gardenhire warned Ump Marty Foster, "I'm going to have to bring The Bear out."

"Release the Bear!"

Gardenhire went back into the depths of the Metrodome and made a call for The Bear. For years Gardy had been tormenting The Bear, poking it, teasing it, making it so hungry for blood that he had already eaten two bat boys. Occasionally Gardy would let The Bear have an at-bat or two, but never against lefties, and only when there wasn't an overpaid veteran in the dugout.

Some things to know about The Bear. He is originally from Belle Fourche, South Dakota. He developed his left handed swing by smacking fish that he caught against rocks and trees. His knees have deteriorated over the years from standing on his hind legs, but they are slowly getting better now that he isn't playing in the field as much.

The crowd erupted when The Bear was released and started to lumber towards the plate. Chants of "Free Kubel" and "I've got a fever" arose from every part of the Dome. The Bear was hungry at this point and sighted a Subway Sandwich sign in the right field stands. With a mighty roar, The Bear launched a shot that directly hit the sign, and gave the Twins the eventually winning run. As he rounded the bases, saliva flying from his mouth, The Bear sighted a doughy, bloated piece of meat behind home plate named AJ. However, before he got the chance to take a bite of him, he was quickly ushered back into his cage.

Gardy and Bill Smith met in the secret bat-cave of the Dome later on in the night. Gardy told Bill, "The Bear is ready. Get rid of Monroe"
Smith replied, "He's gone. And the Hutt is going to follow him out also."
Gardy: "The Hutt is gone? Does that mean...."
Smith: "Saint Francisco is on his way..."

-Sota