Seattle!!!!!

What up world,

How can our bats be so assy? I have stayed up late two nights in a row, only to watch two games that we have given away late. Seattle!!! Why?? Why couldn't we follow the White Sox lead and destroy this team? Babies in the Twin Cities are furious with the performance of not only the bullpen, but also the Twins lineup. With Lexi back, and cutting ties with the wolfman, our offense was supposed to pick up a little right? Explain yourselves.


The only positive note that I can find in this series debacle is that Everyday Eddie is back in the mix. Hopefully we will have a little more depth in our bullpen and he will be more of this bellowing beast man,

then this grimmacing beast man for us.

Unfortunately the Twins gave up a pitching prospect for Eddie that was really intriguing to me. His name is Mark Hamburger, is from Minnesota, and was given a contract after having an open tryout with the team. He was doing pretty well in the minors, and may have a chance at the majors eventually. Here is the team photo.

Even more dissapointed than I that the team traded away the Hamburger is Randy Ruiz. Randy loves hamburgers as is evident in his 250 pound frame. When food is brought into the clubhouse, Randy is the first to find any and all hamburgers that are available. Many of his teammates have noticed this hamburger love and have nicknamed him The Hamburglar.

Randy had heard legend of this pitcher made of hamburgers in the minors. He was having dreams of this hamburger pitcher. Playing with him, celebrating victories, and eventually eating him as part of the postseason celebration.

When Randy heard of the news that the pitcher had been traded, he was devastated. Over the course of the day, this devastation turned to anger, which culminated in a booming homerun last night. I'm hoping that the rest of the team will see what the Hamburglar is like when he is angry and continue to steal his hamburgers. Otherwise, we can try and tip Officer Big Mac as to where the Hamburglar hangs out. I don't think that there would be anything that would anger him more.

Seriously boys, get rid of the ass-bats and salvage something out of this series.

-Sota