OMG

What up world,

I can't believe that it has come to this. I feel like a 13-year-old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert. I'm excited, I feel the need to pee myself, and there is a good chance that I'll pass out. After reading through several blogs and the Strib, it doesn't seem like anyone is giving us a chance to win. It seems like we are making up excuses before the first pitch is even thrown. I would like to say that I have multiple reasons for optimism and that we can go out there and dominate the Sox, but I'm going to have to side with every writer out there. I'm scared of the south side of Chicago, and the people that call themselves White Sox fans. I think they could rip Lil Nicky Punto limb from limb, and then they'd probably feast on his delicious lil remains. All we can do is hope that Blackburn channels his best Joe Mauer, that the ass-bats are burned prior to the game, and that we leave Chicago on a plane to Florida rather than back to Minny. Stay away Twins. We don't want you back here unless it's a playoff performance.

The game is going to start in a few minutes. My plans are to craddle myself and slowly rock back and forth while quietly humming, "We're going to win Twins, we're going to score" over and over again. And try not to throw up.

-Sota