G.U.S.

What up world,

I have some mixed emotions on the Vikings game yesterday. I really like the Carolina Panthers. I like that Jake Delhomme gets fired up on the field and shoots flames from his nostrils. I like that Steve Smith has a huge Napoleon complex and will eventually dominate fantasy football stats for the rest of the season (I need you Steve. Go crazy. Not like, punch a teammate crazy, like touchdown crazy). I like that Julius Peppers could sack a quarterback, save a child from a burning building, and impregnant an entire section of a football stadium in one quarter of a game.

Also, I'm not thrilled with the selection of Gus Frerotte as our quarterback of the future. He did look a lot better than a certain T-Jack quarterback, but he's just so old. His Bradke grease hair has started to show a little gray around the edges. He was born in 1971, and I still can't get past the name. Gus is the kid that picks his nose and wears suspenders, not the heroic leader of a football team.

Last night, as I watched the Cowboys sexually assualt the Packers, I asked whether anyone knew Gus' full name. There was a myriad of suggestions, my favorite being an acronym of Grundy Underwear Sweat, but no one seemed to know exactly what it was. Through the magic of the internets, I found his full name was Gustave Joseph Frerotte. I'm a little dissappointed that it wasn't Grundy Undies, but as long as he continues to lead the Vikes to victory, I'm willing to let it pass.

In the end, a win is still a win. I thought that the defense looked really good, and I'm even starting to like EJ Henderson. This is a big move for me, as I've wanted to murder him in his sleep for several years prior to this. Purple Jesus did not dominate like I expected him to, but I'm pretty sure that he was playing with only one hamstring yesterday. He told me that he just tied the other in a knot prior to heading onto the field. After the game, I saw him walking around the field turf piece that covers the pitcher's mound. He told me that he was blessing it in anticipation of the Twins series this week. I asked him if he could predict what was going to happen. He smiled at me and simply said, "Sweep" before ascending into the heavens.

-Sota