During the 7th inning last night, I left my house and headed to a local Jimmy John's for dinner. I was feeling pretty good at that point. Not only was I headed toward a delicious ham sandwich, but the Twins had just taken the lead and had forced AJ Burnett out of the game. We needed this game desperately bad, because the White Sox had won earlier in the day. I was reminded of this fact as I walked past this shady Mexican restaurant/bar. There was a Cubs game going on at the time, and someone had rolled down their window and yelled an obligatory "Go Cubs" to a couple of bouncers that were standing outside the bar. The bouncers responded with a "Go Sox". Here is a recap of the conversation between the drunk car guy and the scary looking bouncers.
Drunk guy: "Are the Sox in first?"
Scary bouncer: "Yeah. They won today, and the Twins are tied in the seventh and about to lose."
Me (in my own thoughts): "What? We were ahead two seconds ago. What happened?"
Scary bouncer: "Even if the Twins win, the Sox are still going to win the division. The Twins suck."
Me (in my own thoughts): "I hate Sox fans. If you weren't so god-awfully scary, and if the Twins weren't playing like a pile of cow manure, I would totally say something hilarious and derogatory about the Sox."
Drunk guy: "I'll give you a 'Go Sox' if you give me a 'Go Cubs'."
Scary bouncer: "F your Cubs. The only team that I hate worse than the Cubs is the Twins."
How could you hate the Twins? They're so cuddly and innocent. He must not have seen Scottie Baker.
Or maybe it's because with the exception of the year that I like to forget (2005), the Twins have always been better than the Sux, with teams that are put together with younguns and scotch tape. Maybe because we find ways to score runs without just hitting home runs.
Side note: How does Alexei Ramirez continue to jack HR's? He looks like Jack from the Nightmare Before Christmas.
For some reason, I think that every baseball fan out there is secretly a little bit of a Twins fan. If not a full-fledged fan, at least an admirer. Like straight guys out there admitting that Brad Pitt is a sexy man. And then a scary bouncer says that he hates them and my perception comes crashing down.
I'm okay with this. Not everyone is going to like what I like. I realize this. Even I hate certain aspects of the Twins right now. Their bullpen for example. Errors. Ass-bats. But still, there is so much to love.
Don't make my hatred increase any more guys. Let's get at least one from these bitches and come back to home sweet dome for the weekend.
-Sota
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