A New Hope

What up world,

Target Field. At long last. I'm watching the Twins play outside in the crisp air of a Minnesota spring. It's a field that I don't recognize, but one that has brought about a extreme level of fondness for me. It's like my first born child. Right now it looks a little funny. Kind of wrinkly and purple, but I can't seem to take my eyes off of it.

In honor of the opening of the new stadium, I've decided to create a running diary of today's game. Without further ado:

1st Inning: Okay, this isn't quite live. I missed the top half of the first inning. Job interviews got in the way of my blogging, yet again. I did catch the Target dog sitting behind home plate. It was a bit ridiculous, and it only confirms my belief that Target is slowly taking over the world.



Bottom half: Hit, hit, Joe Mauer introduction. I'm guessing that the sound system in Target Field is much better than it was in the Dome. Mauer is introduced by TI. The entire stadium rises in ovation. I have chills. This is awesome.

A couple of bloop singles from Cuddles and Kubear, and the Twins are up 2-0.

2nd Inning: Bud Selig has appeared, looking as creepy as ever. In my very first blog, I compared Selig to Count Chocula.



I still think that the comparison is valid, however, I think I've found something better.



These are the creatures from The Dark Crystal (greatest movie of all time?). I'm pretty sure that Selig was the motivation for the movie's make-up artists. Now, Bud is discussing contraction and how it really wasn't his fault. I want to throw things at his face.

Bottom half: Lil Nicky Punto arrives at the plate. Nicky is making the adjustment to outdoor baseball by applying excessive amounts of eye black. It might be a regular application, but on his teeny face it looks a little bit ridiculous. Punto gets on base, and steals second a few plays later. In the process of stealing, Nicky's belt pops off. There is a little man, holding his broken belt high in the air, and I am giggling. I heart you Lil Nicky.

Just a few plays later, Nicky crosses home plate. Twins up 3-0.

3rd Inning: Hot Carl Pavano issues a walk, but is otherwise dealing. Span makes a couple of plays in the outfield, and we're out of the inning.

Bottom half: The Delmonic has taken a walk and ripped an opposite field single already. I'm not going to do it, Delmonic. I'm not going to buy into your potential! You can't fool me. Even if you have lost weight and have sweet flame tattoos on your forearm. Unless you get another hit during the game... Then I might change my mind.... What? I'm easy to please. Don't judge me.

4th Inning: Okay, I'm back to not believing in the Delmonic. Although it was a tough catch against the wall, I would have felt a lot better if he made it. Instead, it's an RBI double for Big Papi. Red Sox take one back. Twins still up 3-1.

Bottom half: I love steals. I love rolling singles up the middle. Does a Joe Mauer/Denard Span scoring play lead to true love. Yes. Yes it does. Twins up 4 -1.

5th Inning: How did that ball fit? Mike Cameron crushes it into left, and somehow it fits between the limestone and foul pole. I thought we were going to have our first interaction with that Minnesota limestone, but instead it slipped into a foot-wide gap. Side note: That limestone is scary. Someone is going to die from a ricochet. I'm convinced.

Bottom half: Kubear is angry. He is an angry buddy that is hungry for fish and high fastballs over the plate. Stay hungry you kinda gross looking bear. We'll need you.

6th Inning: Punto totally redeems himself from his previous inning antics. He scurries after a slow roller to third base, and throws a dart to first for the out. Not only was it incredibly athletic, it was incredibly adorable. His eye black is still ridiculous, however.

Bottom half: Span hit, Span steals. Oh Keiunta. Such a warrior.

Side note: The flower boxes look a little weak right now. They look like I've been taking care of them. I'm hoping that they fill out a little better.

7th Inning: Hot Carl leaves the game after six, giving the game to Brian Duensing. Pedro Gomez gives another report on Target Field from the Budweiser party deck. He says October about 8 times in two sentences. I like the way he talks. Maybe if all Twins fans in attendance say a minimum of ten "October's" per home game, we'll be in the postseason once again.

Bottom Half: Grrrr. Kubear growls and hits a bomb to right! First home run in Target Field!!! I thought that the old logo was supposed to do something, but all I saw was some flashing lights around the sign's border. Wasn't there supposed to be some sort of hand shaking?

The Delmonic tries to match Kubear's effort. I thought it was gone, but it died near the track. My affection would have returned if he had gone back to back. Alas, my lack of belief still exists.

Twins up 5-1.

8th Inning: I'm not sure why ESPN keeps having some sort of death rock playing over game highlights when coming back from commercial break. I'm happy and smiling while watching the game and then I'm suddenly scared.

New double play combo finishes the inning after the Twins give up one. Twins up 5-2.

Bottom half: It looks like Matt Guerrier finished pitching the top half, and decided that he wanted to pitch the bottom half as well. He changed into a Boston uniform, and it says Schoeneweis on the back, but I'm convinced that it's our boy Matty. Oh, he can apparently throw left-handed also. Crap, my assertion is falling to pieces.

Joe Mauer is awesome.

9th Inning: Jon Rauch is frightening. It feels weird to be in the ninth and not see Joe Nathan, but I'm happy that we have a scary looking closer instead. I like that. We don't want to have a cutesy looking pitcher up there. Everyday Eddie was alright in his time, but he was far too adorable to really fit into that role. Rauch makes me wet my pants a little bit from the comfort of my couch. Not from excitement. Because I'm scared. Okay, maybe a little bit from excitement.

Lil Nicky scampers into foul territory for out number two. I giggle whenever I see him do something. Hilarious.

A pop-up for the third out! Twins open the new field with a solid win. My happiness cannot be contained. I'm all smiles and butterflies. A great way to start something amazing.

-Sota