Mike Miller continues to defy the wishes of CoacHale and the rest of the Timberwolves faithful, scoring 22 points to lead the team to victory on Sunday over the New Jersey Nets. After nearly a full season of being awful, Miller decided that he would catch on fire for the last couple of weeks to further torment the Timberwolves fans.
Why Mike? Why would you do this? Currently we are 6th in the race for worst team in the league. Here are the current standings:
Washington: 17 and 58
Sacramento: 16 and 56
LA Clippers: 18 and 56
Memphis: 18 and 54
Oklahoma City: 20 and 53
Minnesota: 21 and 53
We can still dramatically improve our draft status with a couple of weeks of garbage. Randy Foye is on board. He sat out the game with a hip issue. Craig Smith sat out as well. Why do you feel the need to center of attention, Mike? Why do you need the spotlight to constantly be on your flowing locks?
That's it! That can be the only explanation. Mike Miller is a craven, obsessed attention hog. Ever since he lost the Mitchell, South Dakota Homecoming Queen title to Cindy Phillips in 1998, Mike has been trying to capture the attention of everyone around him. Even though he occasionally hit some big shots at the University of Florida, his butch hair cut was often rebuffed by his male suitors.
Even after growing out his hair to shoulder length and donning a stylish headband, he still didn't receive the notice that he craved.
Such a sad Mike.
He played for Orlando and Memphis for several years, shot pretty well, but was never satisfied. Not enough newspapers were writing about him. There were only three "Mike Miller" jerseys sold in seven years, and they were all hanging in Mike's extensive closet.
It wasn't until the draft of 2008 that Mike decided to take a different approach to his career. He was on his way to Minnesota in a trade for OJ Mayo. He was brought in to shoot three's and make high percentage shots. After all, in his 2007-2008 season at Memphis he shot .502 from the field and .432 from three-point range. Surely, with Big Al's inside presence, he would be able to have a lot of open looks and knock down some key shots.
But this was not in Mike's plans. He wanted people to finally notice him. His new tactic was to stop taking shots if possible. When he did take shots, he was going to make sure that they were bricks. He wanted people to look at him for the beautiful woman that he was, rather than a shooting specialist.
Well done Mike. Mission accomplished. Now that Al is out and the team should be focusing on losing at all costs, you've decided to grab the spotlight once again. You are the belle of the ball.
I don't think Miller is ever going to change. The only solution is to pay undue amounts of praise upon him, no matter what he may be doing. For the rest of the season, when he misses a shot, we should all applaud with fervor. Turnover? Yay!!! Fouling out? Standing Ovation!!!
It's up to you T-Wolves fans. Lets get this going.
-Sota
No comments:
Post a Comment