Jilted Affection

What up world,

It's time that I address the biggest news story out of Minnesota since...well...

there was that bridge thing...

and there was that wrestling governor...

and that mall...

But each of those things seem to pale in comparison to the recent developments in Eden Prairie. The events that occurred Tuesday will impact the state, and myself, in ways that will be difficult to comprehend hundreds of years from now. We will be able to look back at August 18th, 2009 as the day that the Minnesota Vikings mattered again. It was the day that number 4, Brett Lorenzo Favre, finally donned the purple and gold.

Brett and I have had a difficult relationship throughout my lifetime. Since I became conscious of sports, and the amazing highs and lows of fandome, Brett has always been there to crush my dreams. Since the fall of 1992, I've watched Favre continuously beat up on the Vikings. I cursed his name, cheered his interceptions, and prayed for injury, while watching him lead the Packers to two Super Bowls and multiple MVPs. I would sit, alone, in the basement of my parent's suburban Minneapolis home, seething at the sight of Brett, running around the field after yet another touchdown pass. It was awful.

But there is something that I have not disclosed earlier. The thing is...I'm sorry, it's difficult to say....It's just that.....I was raised by a pair of Packer fans.....

I know! Don't judge me for it! Don't immediately close your internet tab. I didn't ask for this. It was the hand that I was dealt. There were so many Sunday nights that I fell asleep, hoping against hope, that I would wake up in a Vikings friendly household. Unfortunately, God never listened to my prayers, and I continue to be tormented by the choices that my parents made.

But wait, there's more...

In addition to my parents, my entire extended family are fans of the Cheese. My grandparents have owned season tickets for approximately 100 years. My aunts, uncles, cousins, even sisters are Packer fans. I went to the University of Wisconsin-Madison for college, and even became friends with other Packer fans. It's awful, I know. I'm a small glimmer of Purple Pride in a sea of Green and Gold.

So, for years, I've watched the Packers destroy the Vikings. I watched as Brett became a folk hero among Wisconsinites. Number 4 jerseys chased me around campus for five years, providing reminders of the most recent failure of the Vikes at the hands of the Pack. I would watch Packer games with my family and friends, trying to injure Brett with the death lasers that were being emitted from my eyes. I made fun of him when he lost games, ridiculed his acting skills, and made endless comments about his appearance during the "Braces Years". I despised Brett Favre.

At least that was what I said to the Packer fans that surrounded me. However, on the inside, in the deepest, darkest corners of my heart, I loved him. He represented everything that I wanted in a quarterback. He took risks, was a leader, and seemed to enjoy himself every time that he took the field. While I was trying to cheer for Dennis Green, Daunte Culpepper, Mike Tice, Randy Moss, the entire Love Boat crew, and every other shady character on the Vikings, Green Bay was winning games with my secret crush at the helm.

So, for years, I've studied Brett from afar. I would make comparisons to him with every quarterback that we drafted over the years. Here is a list of our drafted qb's since 1992, the year that Brett took over the starting job:

1992: Brad Johnson
1993: Gino Torretta
1995: Chad May
1999: Daunte Culpepper
2006: Tavaris Jackson
2007: Tyler Thigpen
2008: John David Booty

I have not loved any of these men. I had a bit of affection for Brad Johnson, early on. Daunte was a giant tease. I wanted to love T-Jack, but he never delivered on any of his promises. Compared to Brett, none of these men stood a chance.

And then, Tuesday arrived. After years of torment, the one person that I had desired for so many years, was in my house, wearing my uniform, and throwing to my receivers. It was like the plot of an 80's romantic comedy.



I'm willing to look past the waffling. I don't care about his giant ego, or need to let everyone know that he is a "normal" guy. Bring the wife, Brett! Bring the kids! Win us some games, and all of your past sins will be forgiven. I promise. At least from all the Minnesota fans. I can't imagine how the Packer fans feel about this...

Ok, I can, because I have heard it. From my family. From my friends. They may be a little upset right now. Maybe a little angry. Livid even.

But that's okay, Brett. Don't worry about them. You are in good hands now.

Welcome to Minnesota!!!!

-Sota