Another day, another loss for the Timberwolves. Nothing unusual about that, right? If you take a closer look, however, you will notice that this wasn't just loss number 52 on the season. In an effort to shake things up, CoacHale (do you see what I did there?) benched his regular lineup at the onset of the game. His starting lineup was the following:
-Bobby "R&B Master" Brown
-Kevin "Back from the Grave" Ollie
-Brian "Big Bird" Cardinal
-Craig "Half Man/Half Animal" Smith
-Rodney "Boy II Man" Carney
McHale said that this wasn't a punishment for his regular starters. He thought that the team had been having lackluster starts and was generally tired from the number of minutes they had been playing. I see through the fog CoacHale. I know what you are really doing.
Tank attack y'all! Lottery here we come!!! Rubio! Thabeet! Don't deny it CoacHale. Keep doing what you're doing, but I think that you should probably let the entire team know of your intentions.
You see, the reserves must not have received the tanking memo last night. They led throughout the first half and deep into the third quarter. The collection of benchies got all plucky and felt entitled with the start. Rodney Carney tried to deliver his own brand of smooth R&B to his former team by making seven 3-pointers. Craig Smith led a rhino charge on the frontcourt of Philly, scoring 20 points.
Realizing that the reserves might actually win this game, McHale sent in his regular starters, who were fully on board with the lottery gameplan. Miller, Foye, Gomes, and Telfair failed miserably, which was exactly what was expected of them. They shot a combined 6 for 32, a staggering 18.7%, and ended up losing 88 to 96. CoacHale was so proud.
Such a happy CoacHale
Kevin Love made some remarks after the game, regarding the reserve's start. "Reward for those guys, punishment for us because we've been playing like doo-doo," he said. "I'm 20 years old, I can say that. We talk like that."
Yes you can K-Love. I encourage you to deliver further quotes like this. You should pick your boogies and wipe them on other players during the game. Go for a depants-ing. Make some fart noises with your armpit. These actions will do nothing but endear you further to your fans.
There are 10 games left in this miserable season. Finish it out with a strong losing streak, and I will be genuinely happy. Not only will it mean that you have a higher chance of getting a lottery pick, but it also means that I no longer have to write about your awfulness. Do that for me, T-Wolves.
-Sota
No comments:
Post a Comment