Wednesday, May 5, 2010

WGTKY - Ol Dirt Doggy

What up world,

I saw that one of my faithful readers posted a comment in my last post. After considerable investigation I discovered that the commenter was none other than my father. Good work Dad! This interwebs stuff isn't so tough, right?

If you were lucky enough to read this comment, you would notice that my father has developed a certain level of fondness for the Twins new second baseman, Orlando Hudson. And I can't fault him for that. I will admit that I haven't paid much attention to the newcomers. It's difficult to see the contributions of players like Orlando when you are watching game updates on ESPN. In an effort to push my familiarity further, I've decided to welcome him to the team with a segment I like to call "Wanna Get to Know You".

Without further ado: WGTKY - Orlando Hudson Edition!!!!

Name: Orlando Hudson
Age: 32
Birthplace: Awesome Town
Nickname: O Dog

I have an issue with this. Why O Dog? There are so many other potentially great nicknames for our new second baseman. Let's think about this. First name, Orlando. What happens in Orlando? Disney does. Could he be a Mouseketeer? No, that's a little juvenile. Plus, Mouseketeer Hudson doesn't flow that well.

Let's keep thinking. Orlando has a lot of syllables in it. We'll shorten it to "O". O Hudson. Where can we find a Hudson? There's the river. Oh, and the bay. Where's the bay? In Canada. That's it!!! We'll call him O Canada!

Hold on...Let's think about this again. We already have the Mountie in Justin Morneau. We don't want to anger him. Back to the drawing board. What else happens in Orlando? Hmmm... Got it! The Magic. The Orlando Magic. Orlando Hudson = The Magic Man!!! Boom!!! Nickname solved.

Position: Second base. While watching the game, I noticed that another newcomer, my boy JJ, was taking the day off. In his place was Alexi Casilla, our second baseman from last year. Watching Alexi hit soft ground outs caused me to remember what is was like watching him last year. Yes, he did have a clutch hit every once in a while, but he rarely got the ball past the pitchers mound. I loved you at one time Alexi, but I have a new crush. It's because he does things like this:

Break dance fielding!!!


Alexi, there are times that you make spectacular defensive plays, but there are also times that you do things so stupid that Gardy poops himself in frustration. We can't have those errors or those soiled manager uniforms. It's too much strain on the team.

Special Skills: Talking

According to my father, The Magic Man is a fast talker. He talks to opposing base runners, to his defense, to the media, and even to the umpires. Actually, he butters the umpires up so much that he gets invited to their "umpire-only" barbecues. This gets him a smaller strike zone, beneficial foul calls, and a warm welcome at home plate. This can only help us.



In conclusion, I would like to thank my dad for pointing out The Magic Man's awesomeness to me. Without the comment, I may have continued to ignore our new second baseman for the entire season. Instead, I managed to hang out with him for a bit, even taking a picture*:


*not actually me

Welcome to the Twins, Magic Man. Keep on doing what you do.

-Sota